Follow First, Lead Later
Why the greatest leaders began as exceptional followers
Most people think they need to figure life out alone.
"Find yourself."
"Follow your passion."
"Be authentic."
But what if this obsession with self-discovery is actually keeping you stuck?
What if the most direct path to finding yourself is through following someone else first?
Sounds counterintuitive. Sounds wrong. Sounds like giving up your agency.
It's not.
It's actually how humans have always learned.
We've created this weird cultural myth that real growth means complete independence. That needing guidance means you're weak. That following others means you're a sheep.
But look at any great leader, any visionary, any person who truly knows who they are.
Dig into their story.
You'll almost always find someone they followed first.
Someone whose vision they borrowed until they could build their own.
The dirty secret of self-discovery is that it never happens through introspection.
It happens through action.
Through apprenticeship.
Through discipleship.
The most independent thinkers often have stories about the one person they followed completely before finding their own way.
Steve Jobs had Robert Friedland.
Oprah had Maya Angelou.
Einstein had Michele Besso.
They didn't start as visionaries.
They started as followers.
The problem isn't following. The problem is who you choose to follow.
Most people are stuck in one of two traps:
Endless self-analysis paralysis. Thinking about who they are instead of becoming who they could be.
Or mindless conformity. Following the crowd instead of following the exceptional.
There's a third path.
Determined discipleship.
Finding someone with genuine vision, faith, direction and temporarily placing your trust in their map while you develop your own.
This isn't about blind obedience.
It's about apprenticeship.
It's about borrowing someone's clarity until yours emerges.
The irony is brutal:
Those desperately trying to "find themselves" often remain lost for decades.
While those willing to temporarily surrender to someone else's vision often discover their own much faster.
Because vision isn't created in a vacuum.
It's forged through experience.
Through seeing how someone else navigates reality.
Through watching how they make decisions.
Through absorbing their mental models until you can build your own.
The shame around following is keeping people stuck.
They'd rather wander aimlessly than admit they need guidance.
They'd rather stay small than temporarily submit to someone else's leadership.
But what if following is actually the most strategic move you can make when you're lost?
What if it's not weakness but wisdom?
What if the fastest way to become a leader is to first become an exceptional follower?
The key is being selective.
Not everyone deserves your discipleship.
Look for people who:
Have actually built something real
Possess genuine humility alongside their confidence
Create more leaders, not just followers
Live what they preach when no one's watching
Are headed somewhere you actually want to go
Then commit.
Not forever. But completely.
Absorb everything. Ask questions. Watch closely. Implement immediately.
This isn't about becoming a clone.
It's about borrowing a working system until your own emerges.
The transition from follower to leader happens naturally when you follow the right person.
You start noticing where their map differs from your emerging vision.
You begin making your own adjustments.
You develop your own voice.
And one day, you realize you're no longer following.
You're charting your own course.
But you couldn't have found that course without first following someone else's.
This is how real growth works.
Not through endless self-analysis.
Not through "just being yourself" when you don't know who that is yet.
But through strategic apprenticeship that leads to authentic self-discovery.
So if you're feeling lost, directionless, unsure of your path...
Stop trying to figure it all out alone.
Find someone worth following.
Place your faith in their vision temporarily.
Let them lead you until you're ready to lead yourself.
It's not weakness.
It's the most direct path to becoming who you're meant to be.
The greatest act of self-trust might be admitting you need someone else to show you the way.
At least for now.